Twinkle Twinkle Fallen Star, What A Bitch You Are

When I first started this book I hit a wall (no pun intended) fairly quickly so I cheated and watched the movie. I wasn't impressed with the movie and was underwhelmed by the book.

The story of Tristan Thorn traveling beyond the gap in the wall that separates the faerie world from the village of Wall, England to fulfill his heart's desire is flat in tone slow in pace lacking in action and anticlimactic. And the women that occupy this book's pages are a pack of bitches. 

The "love" story between Tristan and Yvaine felt sterile and a bit frosty, even when Yvaine  does come around to Tristan it seems more like she's settling and less like she's actually in love. Then again, I guess she would have to settle because she's a star that fell from the sky and has no way to get back home. How bleak! 

With a title like Stardust you would think this story would sparkle and shine and leave behind a warm glittering trail of magic instead it just lays there like a dull dirty cold lump of coal. 

*Lifting up the skirt of the night

We've all watched a crap film devoid of discernible plot and storyline, more than likely those are independent movies not big budget heavily marketed films from a major studio, but Nightcrawler starring Jake Gyllenhaal is one of those films. 

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Louis Bloom, a gaunt faced bugged eyed creep. Something is obviously wrong with the man but we don't know what exactly. Is he socially inept? A sociopath? A psychopath? Or is he riding a ray on the autism spectrum? The film opens with Louis breaking into a train yard and being confronted by security, you know that Louis is a bad dude when he attacks the security guard for his watch. After selling his stolen goods he's just driving around when he pulls over to watch two police officers pull a car crash victim out of her car just as the car catches fire. He then meets a stringer also known as a nightcrawler played by Bill Paxton who films the incident to sell to a local news station. Louis decides he can do that too and buys a cheap camera and police scanner. 

The rest of the film is of Louis finding gruesome events to film and sell to the news director of a low rated station. He also uses his lack of a conscience to force the news director (played by Renee Russo who I mistakenly thought was Michelle Pfeiffer at first) he sells his footage to into a sexual relationship and to sabotage his competitor by tampering with his van. 

Louis' lack of empathy comes to head when he films two people feeing a house after a murder and then goes inside to film the crime scene footage. He then uses the footage of the two murderers to track them down and set them up for a violent confrontation with the police just to film exclusive footage of their arrest.

There isn't much more to it, oh I forgot there is a teeny tiny bit about the police snooping around Louis asking how he got the footage of the murder victims. Instead of a film it feels more like one long commercial for the Dodge Charger Louis drives like a maniac in. 

*The title to this post was taken from the song lyrics to a song featured on Bob's Burgers.

But Was it Really Love?

Crazy Love is a must see documentary, it's the true story of Burt Pugach and Linda Riss and Pugach's  obsession with her that of course turned dangerous. 

In 1957 Pugach first sees Linda sitting on a bench and decides that she's his and nothing was going to stop him. So he pursues her, uses his money and nightclub to woo her and once it's revealed that he's married he strings her along until she's had enough and moves on. She eventually becomes in engage to another man and this sets Burt off into full psychopath mode. 

Burt decides that if he can't have her no one else will and hires a man to blind her with lye.

During his time in prison he still whines about his love for Linda and makes several attempts to contact her writing letter upon letter pleading his case. After fifteen years when Pugach is released he's finally reunited with Linda through her friends no less and they marry. Yes, she marries the creep who blinds her! 

There are so many moments in this documentary that made grit my teeth in anger and cringe. Linda tells her fiancé at the time of her blinding to get out but he refuses, he would later break off the engagement because he decided he couldn't handle it. Linda's friends decide that after years of being alone and having nothing in her life and because Burt is still telling anyone who will listen that he's still in love with her they set them up on a date. Eventually they marry and amazingly enough the bastard still cheats on her! In the mid 90s Pugach would be accused of threatening his current girlfriend by telling her he would blind her, Linda stands by him and he is acquitted of all charges. So did Linda marry him because she loved him or because he was financial security? Watch and then you decide. 

Killdozer, you can run faster than it can drive but it will still kill you!

While trying to find The Car on Youtube I found Killdozer! 

Killdozer is the story of a bulldozer gone berserk from space radiation(I think) from a meteorite that crash landed on a construction site. Its blood lust cannot be satisfied so the men have to find a way to stop it.

It's the Killdozer against six men, that's right, six men left alone in a remote work location for a construction job bigger than what six men can handle. Killdozer slowly picks off its prey one by one, and this is despite the fact that the men can run faster than it can drive and they have faster vehicles to flee in. Oh, and the men are located next to the ocean, so certainly they could have lured it into the ocean by taunting it to follow them. Yes, the Killdozer is a sensitive and proud piece of machinery and it responds to taunts.

In a wonderful "Hey it's that guy!" moment, the Killdozer's first victim is none other than the late great Robert Urich. 

They just don't make them like the used to and that's a shame. 

The Devil made the car do it!

I'm currently reading a compilation of interviews with John Waters. One of his interviews he mentioned the film The Car. It's the story of a car possessed by evil and the evil makes it kill. Sadly I can't find the whole movie on Youtube but I'm dying to see it. I get the feeling it's the best thing that James Brolin has ever done or starred in, that's including his marriage to Grade A cunt Streisand and his piece of shit son.

Phobic Fridays

Chaetophobia is fear of hair, Sufferers fear may be associated with human hair and/or animal hair. They fear people or animals with an excess amount of hair. They may also fear the hair on their own body. Some only fear detached or loose hair and do not mind attached hair.