The Kids Ain't Right III

Here we go again, picking up seven years later with the two remaining Dresden Dolls and Cathy's spawn. 

This time around Cathy is not our narrator, thank you Jaysus! Honestly, I cannot stand Cathy, she’s just all around terrible and any goodwill or sympathy she gained in Flowers in the Attic was shredded by Petals on the Wind. This story is her sons Jory (I can’t with that name) and Bart’s to tell. 

Jory (ugh, that name) and Bart (another ugh) are polar opposites. Bart is jealous of Jory and feels that everyone hates him and loves Jory. As the kids tell it Cathy and stepfather Chris sure are touchy feely, they dance in the living room, sneak off to their bedroom a lot, lock eyes and give each other long and meaningful looks and glow whenever they are together. Cathy has finally submitted to the lustful sin that was forged in the dust and gloom of the attic years ago and seems to be making up for lost time. Excuse me while I vomit. 

Their little slice of heaven turns into a big heaping pile of hell when a mysterious woman in black (not really) moves into the empty mansion next door and starts paying attention to lonely little Bart. She feeds him junk food, tells him that she’s his grandma and loves him and buys him whatever he wants, except a pony, while the evil butler John Amos starts to warp his mind with religion and hate. Oh James Evan Sr., how could you? I know you’re still struggling to get your family out of the projects but did you have to resort to this? 

Chris and Cathy’s secret gets spilled to the boys, a bunch of bad stuff happens, Cathy and Corrine get kidnapped. People die, scores have been settled blah blah blah.

If There be Thorns is an addictive stupid read but it has an outrageous plot hole. A plot hole that’s just too big to ignore. Cathy’s former mother in law Madame M. seems to believe that Paul is still alive. I thought they lived in the same town? Wouldn’t she have known that he died years ago? And wouldn’t have the kids been calling Chris dad in front of her during their yearly visits to the graves and crazy Corrine? 

Cathy is still awful, Chris is still a pathetic mangina, Jory is an obnoxious goody goody, Bart is crazy and Corrine is just a third tier character that you don’t really care about. 

While this book is much better than Petals it’s still not as good as Flowers. You can tell Andrews started off trying but after awhile she gives up and rushes everything just to get to the end. And that rushed feeling just gives this story an oddness about it that I can’t quite explain. Thankfully unlike Petals, that oddness wasn’t as overwhelming.