Road House is the 1989 Patrick Swayze classic that is so bad it's good, and I mean really good in that ridiculous make you laugh when you're not supposed to laugh way. I read online that those fuckers in Hollywood are going to take a steaming shit all over this classic by remaking it.
Dalton, played by the late great Patrick Swayze, is hired to clean up a rowdy corrupt bar called the Double Deuce. The place is a clogged overflowing toilet, and the town of Jasper isn't much better.
It doesn't take long for our hero to start ruffling feathers and pissing people off.
If you're thinking that Dalton is your average ruffian then listen up. Dalton can give himself stitches, has a degree in philosophy and he does Tai Chi! Motherfucker does Tai Chi!
He also can also fight in his perfectly pleated white pants! Dalton sure does like his pleated pants.
Dalton makes an enemy in the town's big shot Brad Wesley. Dalton isn't impressed or frightened by his bullying ways and tells him so. That displeases Wesley but Dalton really infuriates Wesley when he starts dating the town's hot (I don't think she's hot) emergency room doctor.
Wesley was sweet on the Doc, now he's jealous and pissed so someone's going to pay.
Goodbye Red's Auto Parts and the local Ford Dealership,
Road House has everything, it has romance, throat snatching, ridiculous late 80s clothes, a stuffed polar bear falling on a fat man and bare Swayze ass. It also has Sam Elliott, I can't forget about Sam Elliott. I like his hair and he's much hotter than Swayze.
I don't see a need for a Road House remake, it's already perfect the way it is.
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