I'm Still Waiting For An Explanation For Mark's Accent

 She Waits 1972 

Starring: Patty Duke, David McCallum, Dorothy McGuire

What the hell? When did I get glaucoma? Why is this so damn fuzzy? Why won't someone take a sweater shaver to this!

I like whatever music that's playing, very atmospheric. I wouldn't want to hear it playing in an old dark house I would be wandering around at night.

This is the longest most boring shot since The Haunting of Julia. At least A Touch of Evil's long opening had things going on so you had to pay attention in case you missed something. 

Finally, we get to where whatever it is was going and an old lady does that gasp-awake thing they do in movies. Lady, if you're frightened then turn on some damn lights. Why in the hell is she walking around in the dark? People in horror movies have no common sense. 

After some aimless wandering around a frightening hag appears out of nowhere!

Shock, gasp! Old hag!

It's just the old loyal housekeeper, Mrs. M, scolding Dorothy for walking around in the dark.

Maybe I can find something better to watch??

Here comes PattyCathy and her husband Mark. And Mark has an English accent. Why does he have an English accent? His mother doesn't have an English accent and Mrs. M doesn't have an English accent. 

After a quick look-see and awkward visit with Mark's mother, Mrs. M takes CathyPatty to Mark's boyhood room, the room where he slept every night until he got married to his first wife, and offers her some chicken. His accent is bothering me.

Mark never uses an English accent at home.

Now it's time for bed. PattyCathy can't sleep and hears someone talking. So instead of minding her business, she snoops around and ends up in a bedroom and finds a music box. It plays that creepy theme song and then the wind blows through the window. I guess that music box was an invitation to let the wrong one in. 

The following day CathyPatty explores the city of Los Angeles and passes by an antique shop and in the window is a music box that looks like the one at Mark's house! 

It better not play the theme to Love Story!

Later that evening, PattyCathy Mark, and Mark's friend who looks familiar but I can't place and who I think he was in a Golden Girls episode but I'm not sure, joins them for dinner. CathyPatty asks a lot of questions like "Why do you have an English accent and no one else does?" Not really but that's what I would have asked. Then she starts nagging him about his first wife Elaine and how she died.

"Did Elaine get hit by a clown car and then was trampled to death by twenty-four pairs of comically big shoes?" 

"We'll talk about it later."

"Was Elaine doing time trials for a place on the US Olympic team then accidentally skied off of a cliff?"

"Really, we'll talk about it later."

"Did Elaine dance on top of a bar while flashing her girls then slip on a lime?"

"Please, dear, we will discuss it later."

"Was Elaine painting the San Francisco bridge and the harness broke and then plunged to her death?"

"For crying out loud CathyPatty, this can wait until we're home." 

"Familiar-looking friend of Mark whom I can't quite place, do you know happened?"

After being told to mind her business she goes home and has a chat with Mark's coo-coo bananas mother who tells her to take Mark and get out or the ghost of Elaine will get him. This scares PattyCathy into a fit of hysterics and she passes out. 

Mark, it was so awful I dreamt that you had an English accent and no one else did!

Shortly after CathyPatty comes to the spirit of Elaine finally takes over and tries to kill Mark because Mark killed her!! But not really, after Mark tells Elaine's ghost to remember that night the truth is revealed! Mark's familiar-looking friend whom I can't quite place killed Elaine! Now Mark has to tell PattyCathy to come back and kick Elaine out.

Aww, Mark can finally tell CathyPatty how much he luvs her. All seems well, Mark's familiar-looking friend falls down the stairs and dies and his mother can rest easy again. But wait! A cold wind blows through the window, so maybe Elaine hasn't left after all?

Nope, I can't find a reason for my English accent in this copy of "Rough and Ready Butt Sluts".

For a made-for-TV horror movie, it's creepy, really creepy, and it does the job. But Mark's accent annoyed me. 

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